-"Tell me
3 of your weaknesses" "I work too hard. I never ask for a big enough
raise. I tend to lie when I'm asked stupid questions".
-Question: 'So how does your husband like you working out of the house?' Answer: 'Not that it's any of your business, but since I have two advanced degrees and earn more than twice what he does, he loves it'. Decided not to work for that sexist bastard.
-"Do you plan to keep working once your husband gets out of grad school?" Me: "No, I got a chemical engineering degree so I could stay home and bake cake".
-I was asked "Do you have a Bachelor's Degree?" Reply: "I have my Masters" Response: "But do you have a Bachelor's Degree?"
-Him: "List the Ten Commandments in any order". Me: "3, 6, 1, 8, 4, 5, 9, 2, 10, 7".
-At my job interview for an Assistant Architect: "It says here you worked in cartography. What kind of carts did you design?" "Let me draw you a map..."
-How do you feel about working late nights and weekends to finish a project on time?" Response: "How do you feel about paying double time for me working late nights and weekends?"
-Question: "Where do you see yourself 5 years from now?" Answer: In mirrors, the same way I've been seeing myself everyday so far"
-"If you were offered higher pay by our competing company would you take that job over this one?"
-A friend of mine was given a written hypothetical technical question, to answer and return the following day. He returned the correct answer, but did not get the job. Why? They weren't looking for new staff, just the answer to that problem - which their own staff of engineers couldn't solve!
-"So, you say your wife isn't going to have kids.... but you, what about you?"
-"Give me a rough estimate of the maximum dollar amount that you've stolen from each of your previous employers". "I didn't know I had to keep records!"
-"What would you do if you found one of your clients dead?" "I don't know. Did I kill him or did someone else...?"
-"Why do you want to work here?" "I need a job".
-Asked during college interviews in high school: "What do you see yourself doing in 10 years?" "Well, ideally I'd like to be a porn star, but I'll probably end up in some dead-end job much like yourself.
-"Uh, women aren't very good at math. So how did you manage to get an engineering degree?"
-"Do you have transportation?" "No, I was born and raised here in your office".
-"Tell us everything about yourself.." "Well I started out as the sperm who won the race.."
"Have you ever considered suicide?" Me: "Is this a trick question or does my hair really look that bad today?"
-Interviewer asked my friend what she thought of his (distinctly ugly) glasses. She paused and then said "They're ugly" Turns out he got the glasses because they *were* ugly. He wanted 'to hire an honest person'... and he did, too!
-Him: "Are you a Satanist?" Me: "No, I'm Jewish. It's a star of David"
-"So I suppose you'll be expecting a couple of days off every month for that female thing..."
-"What lipsticks do you carry in your purse?" The job was for a typist; I type 100+ wpm...
-"You ONLY have 2 years of experience on the product?" "It's only been out 2.5 years!"
-"So, if you're married, why are you looking for work?"
-"Seeing we've offered the job to someone else already, do you have any good ideas for our company?"
-"If you're working on a project, and it's your wedding anniversary, your wife has made big plans, and your project has a problem, what would you do?"
-"Do you plan to get paid for this work?"
-"When does life begin?" They want answers like conception or birth. I tell them "When the kids grow up and leave the damn house!"
-Interviewer - "I don't think you're going to get the job... but I might want to go out with you. Interested?"
-"Don't you feel that there are other things more important than a high salary?"
-Asked by a male engineer to a female engineer applicant: "Let's see your fingernails.." Yes, I can get dirty. And I got the job!
-I was once asked: "How many gas stations are there in the United States? Take me through your thinking" This was for an assistant position at an Internet gaming company that did absolutely no gas-related business at all.
-Prospective employee to the interviewer: "You don't have a problem with me leaving every day to get my injections, do you? If I miss them, I get violent".
-"You understand that this interview is for a permanent position?" "Yes, I plan on living forever"
-"Have you ever in the past, or are you ever planning in the future, to systematically gun-down everybody in your workplace?"
-"You don't have a problem with middle-aged men grabbing you from behind and complimenting your ass, do you? Because the last thing we need around here is another lawsuit".
-Asked how long I'd been married and where my exotic look came from. I said "You can't ask me that in an interview" "Is this an interview? I thought we were having a conversation" Then he said "So there are rules about that?" He's a lawyer.
-"If you were a tree what kind of tree would you be?"
-"Before you start work with us, would you consider shaving off your moustache?"
-"How did a pretty little thing like you ever get through law school?"
-"Why do you want to work here?" I suppose they need to know I can lie convincingly under pressure...
-"You don't have an engineering degree, how can you have a brain?" For a non-engineering related job.
-"Are you using contraceptives, or are you planning to get pregnant soon?"
-"Why do you want to work here?" Me: "I can't get hired as a pool boy at the playboy mansion. This was number two".
-"I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to explain all of these convictions"
-"The previous employee left because of high stress and low pay - are you OK with that?"
-"I finished my Bachelor's degree in 3 years by going in the summer". Interviewer: "You went to summer school? Why, are you stupid?"
-Asked of me in an interview for after graduation with a computer science BA, and being an adult NOT living with parents: "Our 401K plan... oh, you probably wouldn't understand it. Would you like us to talk to your parents?"
-"You do know your hair would be considered illegal here don't you, I mean you won't mind cutting it?"
-Repeatedly asked why I "quit" the army. Asked why they should hire me if I had a history of quitting from my last employer. I served for 8 years by the way. For whatever reason, he viewed electing not to stay in for 20 years as quitting.
-I see by your resume you have experience in Brand X and Brand Y software, how about Brand Z? Yes, but I deliberately leave things off my resume to save space.
-"What makes you stand out from everyone else interviewing from this job?" This for a shelf stacker job...
-Question: 'So how does your husband like you working out of the house?' Answer: 'Not that it's any of your business, but since I have two advanced degrees and earn more than twice what he does, he loves it'. Decided not to work for that sexist bastard.
-"Do you plan to keep working once your husband gets out of grad school?" Me: "No, I got a chemical engineering degree so I could stay home and bake cake".
-I was asked "Do you have a Bachelor's Degree?" Reply: "I have my Masters" Response: "But do you have a Bachelor's Degree?"
-Him: "List the Ten Commandments in any order". Me: "3, 6, 1, 8, 4, 5, 9, 2, 10, 7".
-At my job interview for an Assistant Architect: "It says here you worked in cartography. What kind of carts did you design?" "Let me draw you a map..."
-How do you feel about working late nights and weekends to finish a project on time?" Response: "How do you feel about paying double time for me working late nights and weekends?"
-Question: "Where do you see yourself 5 years from now?" Answer: In mirrors, the same way I've been seeing myself everyday so far"
-"If you were offered higher pay by our competing company would you take that job over this one?"
-A friend of mine was given a written hypothetical technical question, to answer and return the following day. He returned the correct answer, but did not get the job. Why? They weren't looking for new staff, just the answer to that problem - which their own staff of engineers couldn't solve!
-"So, you say your wife isn't going to have kids.... but you, what about you?"
-"Give me a rough estimate of the maximum dollar amount that you've stolen from each of your previous employers". "I didn't know I had to keep records!"
-"What would you do if you found one of your clients dead?" "I don't know. Did I kill him or did someone else...?"
-"Why do you want to work here?" "I need a job".
-Asked during college interviews in high school: "What do you see yourself doing in 10 years?" "Well, ideally I'd like to be a porn star, but I'll probably end up in some dead-end job much like yourself.
-"Uh, women aren't very good at math. So how did you manage to get an engineering degree?"
-"Do you have transportation?" "No, I was born and raised here in your office".
-"Tell us everything about yourself.." "Well I started out as the sperm who won the race.."
"Have you ever considered suicide?" Me: "Is this a trick question or does my hair really look that bad today?"
-Interviewer asked my friend what she thought of his (distinctly ugly) glasses. She paused and then said "They're ugly" Turns out he got the glasses because they *were* ugly. He wanted 'to hire an honest person'... and he did, too!
-Him: "Are you a Satanist?" Me: "No, I'm Jewish. It's a star of David"
-"So I suppose you'll be expecting a couple of days off every month for that female thing..."
-"What lipsticks do you carry in your purse?" The job was for a typist; I type 100+ wpm...
-"You ONLY have 2 years of experience on the product?" "It's only been out 2.5 years!"
-"So, if you're married, why are you looking for work?"
-"Seeing we've offered the job to someone else already, do you have any good ideas for our company?"
-"If you're working on a project, and it's your wedding anniversary, your wife has made big plans, and your project has a problem, what would you do?"
-"Do you plan to get paid for this work?"
-"When does life begin?" They want answers like conception or birth. I tell them "When the kids grow up and leave the damn house!"
-Interviewer - "I don't think you're going to get the job... but I might want to go out with you. Interested?"
-"Don't you feel that there are other things more important than a high salary?"
-Asked by a male engineer to a female engineer applicant: "Let's see your fingernails.." Yes, I can get dirty. And I got the job!
-I was once asked: "How many gas stations are there in the United States? Take me through your thinking" This was for an assistant position at an Internet gaming company that did absolutely no gas-related business at all.
-Prospective employee to the interviewer: "You don't have a problem with me leaving every day to get my injections, do you? If I miss them, I get violent".
-"You understand that this interview is for a permanent position?" "Yes, I plan on living forever"
-"Have you ever in the past, or are you ever planning in the future, to systematically gun-down everybody in your workplace?"
-"You don't have a problem with middle-aged men grabbing you from behind and complimenting your ass, do you? Because the last thing we need around here is another lawsuit".
-Asked how long I'd been married and where my exotic look came from. I said "You can't ask me that in an interview" "Is this an interview? I thought we were having a conversation" Then he said "So there are rules about that?" He's a lawyer.
-"If you were a tree what kind of tree would you be?"
-"Before you start work with us, would you consider shaving off your moustache?"
-"How did a pretty little thing like you ever get through law school?"
-"Why do you want to work here?" I suppose they need to know I can lie convincingly under pressure...
-"You don't have an engineering degree, how can you have a brain?" For a non-engineering related job.
-"Are you using contraceptives, or are you planning to get pregnant soon?"
-"Why do you want to work here?" Me: "I can't get hired as a pool boy at the playboy mansion. This was number two".
-"I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to explain all of these convictions"
-"The previous employee left because of high stress and low pay - are you OK with that?"
-"I finished my Bachelor's degree in 3 years by going in the summer". Interviewer: "You went to summer school? Why, are you stupid?"
-Asked of me in an interview for after graduation with a computer science BA, and being an adult NOT living with parents: "Our 401K plan... oh, you probably wouldn't understand it. Would you like us to talk to your parents?"
-"You do know your hair would be considered illegal here don't you, I mean you won't mind cutting it?"
-Repeatedly asked why I "quit" the army. Asked why they should hire me if I had a history of quitting from my last employer. I served for 8 years by the way. For whatever reason, he viewed electing not to stay in for 20 years as quitting.
-I see by your resume you have experience in Brand X and Brand Y software, how about Brand Z? Yes, but I deliberately leave things off my resume to save space.
-"What makes you stand out from everyone else interviewing from this job?" This for a shelf stacker job...
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