Image via WikipediaFound this over at Grouchy Old Cripple and it was too good not to share:Job Description for Members of Congress
A member of Congress is an elected public parasite who accumulates pork for the state or district he or she was elected to represent in either the House of Representatives or the Senate. The House of Representatives has 435 various criminals, idiots, loons, posers, wastrels, and frauds, and the Senate has 100 similar harrumphing, condescending posturers, two from each of the 50 states.
Job Responsibilities
The Congress has varying degrees of responsibility, but primarily its purpose is to burden the legal system, complicate tax codes, stifle both domestic and foreign trade, pretend to maintain a fully funded military, and vote to declare war on other nations when it is proposed by a president it happens to like. A member of Congress usually pontificates and obfuscates on various committees. A few of interest and popularity are the House No-Ways and Improper Means Committee that oversees tax irregularities, the Senate Banking Committee that interferes with and then bails out the nation's banking industry, and the U.S. currency and the Senate Finance Committee, one of the oldest committees in the congress, which systematically steals from Social Security, Medicare, and Medicaid funds and has extensive oversight powers into indecipherable health care regulations and unfathomable tax and trade policy, as well as the ability to obscure and confound existing laws and regulations. Many members of Congress find this committee to be the most fun and personally profitable through graft, corruption, and bribery.
The Congress has varying degrees of responsibility, but primarily its purpose is to burden the legal system, complicate tax codes, stifle both domestic and foreign trade, pretend to maintain a fully funded military, and vote to declare war on other nations when it is proposed by a president it happens to like. A member of Congress usually pontificates and obfuscates on various committees. A few of interest and popularity are the House No-Ways and Improper Means Committee that oversees tax irregularities, the Senate Banking Committee that interferes with and then bails out the nation's banking industry, and the U.S. currency and the Senate Finance Committee, one of the oldest committees in the congress, which systematically steals from Social Security, Medicare, and Medicaid funds and has extensive oversight powers into indecipherable health care regulations and unfathomable tax and trade policy, as well as the ability to obscure and confound existing laws and regulations. Many members of Congress find this committee to be the most fun and personally profitable through graft, corruption, and bribery.
Job Opportunities
Each state holds elections to select its ineffectual representatives and senators.
Candidates must first decide to become a career criminal and believe in their ability to safely embezzle or misappropriate public funds for the betterment of their home districts and their own life styles. Experience in some form of shakedown or extortion racket is helpful, whether it be in mob-related activities or local union leadership. Members of Congress are contemptible public officials and most have committed numerous offenses ranging from public intoxication and lewd behavior. Members of the House of Representatives are elected to two-year periods of impunity for crimes against common sense and national security, and members of the U.S. Senate are allowed six years to accumulate vast fortunes for their retirement years. Should a member of Congress not be able to amass the desired number of golden eggs in a single term, no limit is set on the number of following terms to which he or she can be re-elected.
Each state holds elections to select its ineffectual representatives and senators.
Candidates must first decide to become a career criminal and believe in their ability to safely embezzle or misappropriate public funds for the betterment of their home districts and their own life styles. Experience in some form of shakedown or extortion racket is helpful, whether it be in mob-related activities or local union leadership. Members of Congress are contemptible public officials and most have committed numerous offenses ranging from public intoxication and lewd behavior. Members of the House of Representatives are elected to two-year periods of impunity for crimes against common sense and national security, and members of the U.S. Senate are allowed six years to accumulate vast fortunes for their retirement years. Should a member of Congress not be able to amass the desired number of golden eggs in a single term, no limit is set on the number of following terms to which he or she can be re-elected.
Qualitative Requirements
Article 1, Section of the Constitution states that anyone running for a seat in the U.S. House of Representatives must be at least 25 years old, have been a U.S. citizen for at least seven years and must reside in the state they wish to represent. Article 1, Section 3 of the Constitution states that anyone running for a seat in the Senate must be at least 30 years old, have been a U.S. citizen for at least nine years and must reside in the state she seeks to represent. Generally speaking, these requirements are not verified for candidates seeking election as Democrats.
Article 1, Section of the Constitution states that anyone running for a seat in the U.S. House of Representatives must be at least 25 years old, have been a U.S. citizen for at least seven years and must reside in the state they wish to represent. Article 1, Section 3 of the Constitution states that anyone running for a seat in the Senate must be at least 30 years old, have been a U.S. citizen for at least nine years and must reside in the state she seeks to represent. Generally speaking, these requirements are not verified for candidates seeking election as Democrats.
Educational Requirements
There are no educational requirements to serve in the Congress.
There are no educational requirements to serve in the Congress.
Average Compensation
According to usgov.info, members of the House of Representatives and the Senate receive obscenely inflated annual base salaries of $174,000 with outrageous lifetime benefits in health care along with virtual assurance of huge compensation in gifts, bribes, fraud, misappropriation, free travel, expense accounts, and outright theft.
According to usgov.info, members of the House of Representatives and the Senate receive obscenely inflated annual base salaries of $174,000 with outrageous lifetime benefits in health care along with virtual assurance of huge compensation in gifts, bribes, fraud, misappropriation, free travel, expense accounts, and outright theft.
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